Foolish As A Second Language

Me: “Good afternoon, I’m from [Collections Agency]. Is [Client] available to speak?”

Young Girl: “Sure, hold on one second.”

(A few moments later…)

Client: “Hello?”

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. I’m making a courtesy call on behalf of [Credit Card Company] about the overdue balance on the account you have with them.”

Client: “What?”

Me: “You currently owe $3,800.00, but you haven’t made a payment in six months. I’m calling to see if you’re having trouble paying the bill. I can also help you set up a payment plan to make it easier for you to handle the payments.”

Client: “NO HABLO ESPAÑOL!”

Me: “Sir, that’s why I’m speaking to you in English.”

Client: “Huh?”

Me: “You just said, ‘I don’t speak Spanish.'”

(There’s a bit of a pause while he digests what I’ve said.)

Client: “…What do I owe again?”