Following Instruction To Leave

, , , | Right | August 23, 2017

(I have recently started working in retail, and this is my first time on the checkout. I am serving a customer who is paying by card.)

Customer: “What do I do?”

Me: “You put the card into the bottom of the chip and pin machine.”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Me: “Umm, there’s a slit at the bottom you insert it into.”

Customer: “Which way?”

Me: “Chip facing up and into the machine.”

Customer: “And how far do you push it in?”

Me: “As far as it will let you.”

(He stares at the machine for a LONG time before doing what is expected perfectly the first time. I process the charge.)

Me: “Okay, just put your pin number in and press okay.”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Me: “You press the number buttons?”

Customer: “…I would like to speak to your manager.”

Me: “Oh, sure. Have I done something to upset you?”

Customer: “You have terrible customer service!”

(A manager is called. She walks up to me and rolls her eyes at the customer. She looks at the register screen.)

Customer: “Oh, [Manager]. Excellent—”

Manager: “You need to enter each number of your pin number sequentially in order of left to right as they were originally dictated to you when you first received them.”

Customer: “And th—”

Manager: “You then press the green button labelled OK on the bottom right of the machine. There are 18 buttons on the machine. Starting from the top left button, you go left to right by two, and top to bottom by five.”

(The customer spends an excruciating amount of time staring at the machine, so long that the machine times out, and the manager gives an very long and detailed description of what happened. Finally, after several minutes, he enters his number and the receipt prints out. The manager takes it.)

Manager: “This piece of paper is your receipt of purchase. You need to hold on to this to ensure you are able to return your items without difficulty should they fail to meet your expectations.”

Customer: “Thank you very, very much.” *to me* “THAT is how you treat your customers. *to Manager* You need to train your staff more!”

Manager: “Of course; however, many of our staff assume that our customers have the common sense to know how to pay in the same manner that have done every week for years without having their hands held through the entire process.”

(The customer sputters out of a retort before screaming that he’s calling our HR department as he storms out.)

Manager: “Here’s hoping he doesn’t come back this time.”

Me: “Does he have a mental illness or something?”

Manager: “I thought that at first, until I met his ex-wife on a night out, and she told me he puts it on to make our lives difficult.”

Me: “Can’t you just ban him?”

Manager: “After five years of trying to, he just keeps coming back. Even getting the police involved doesn’t stop him.”

(He came in a week later but I was more prepared this time, and I gave such a convoluted description of the entire process, with as many large words as I could think of, that he didn’t come back for nearly a month. I got Employee of the Month for “excellent custom service.”)

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