Foiled By His Own Design

, , , , , | Working | July 30, 2018

(I am the receptionist of an advertisement company. We never advertise open positions anywhere, and each department works with a recruitment firm to pull in workers. Each department also works more or less independently, and there are ten departments. A person comes in, and I greet them like I do everyone.)

Me: “Hello there! How can I help you today?”

Person: “Your manager. Immediately.”

Me: “Oh, dear. May I ask what this in regards to so I know which manager to contact?”

Person:Your manager. You are making me wait, and I’m pretty sure that’s not how you’re meant to do your job.”

Me: “My ‘manager’ is the CEO of the company, and he’s in Cancun this week. Maybe I can help you?”

Person: “Give me his cell phone, then.”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t give that information out. If you tell me what this is about, I can figure out which of the department heads I should call down to help.”

Person: “Wow. So, you’re just going to refuse me like that?”

Me: “Sir, I’m trying to help you.”

Person: “Look, honey, I’m a famous designer, highly sought-after. Your CEO personally requested I come and discuss a position at your company. Is that enough information for you? Can you finally call someone down to talk to me who knows what they’re doing?”

Me: “Certainly, sir. Let me personally go fetch the HR lead.”

Person: “Finally.”

(I give the HR lead a run-down of what this guy has said to me and what he wants. She snorts and comes down wearing her most enthusiastic face.)

HR Head: “Hi! I hear you’re looking for a job?”

Person: “Yes. Your CEO told me to come in and that he’d have a place for me.”

HR Head: “Oh, wow, really? That’s just amazing!”

Person: “Exactly. Here is my resume and my card. Now, may I have a tour? Then we can discuss the terms of my new position.”

HR Head: “Ah, yes. Well, so, you see, the thing is…”

(She rips his resume and card in half and puts them in my garbage.)

HR Head: “…the CEO personally hired [My Name] because she is one of the most capable people here. She knows everyone, every project, every department, and basically runs this place. Anyone who would treat her the way you did would never be welcomed here. I have to ask you to leave now before we are forced to call security. Thanks so much for coming! Bye!”

(He shouted some obscenities, and then left when security strolled up front to see what the fuss was about. Good riddance to bad rubbish.)

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