Focusing On The Wrong Kind Of Cup Size

(I am a female in my early twenties, the only female working this particular shift with three burly male coworkers. I am on the front register taking orders and money, when a customer walks in. He is a sloppily-dressed old man.)

Me: “Hi there! How are you?”

Customer: “I’m doin’ great, sweetie. How ’bout you get me a big cup of coffee?”

Me: “Sounds great. Do you need any room for cream in there, sir?”

Customer: “I got some cream for ya!”

(He winks lewdly at me. I try to shake it off.)

Me: “Alright, here is your coffee. Anything else for you, sir?”

Customer: “Nope. What’s my total so you can ring me up?”

(The customer seems oddly eager to pay. I give him his total and he hands me a very worn credit card. I try to swipe through our machine once or twice before determining its magnetic strip is too worn to be read. I am about to start typing in the numbers, when he interrupts me, looking very flushed and excited.)

Customer: “No, no, don’t type it in. It’ll work if you just rub it on your chest.”

(I am a little creeped out, but I wipe the card off on the bottom of my apron and give it another shot. It still won’t run through.)

Customer: “No, no, sweetie, I said it’ll work if you rub it on your chest. Actually, it’ll work best if I rub it on your chest for you.”

(At this point, I’m done. I step back from the register without another word and call for one of my coworkers, a big, burly 33-year-old man whose other job is construction. He comes over as I am walking away.)

Me: *to my coworker* “I’m going to the back because the man at the front is asking to rub things on my chest.”

(My coworker walks up to the register and looks down at the customer. He is a good foot taller than the customer.)

Coworker: “I heard you like rubbing things on people’s chests? Well, have at it.”

(My coworker leans forward just as I go into the back room. I didn’t see what happened next, but my coworker told me the customer panicked and ran out of the store without paying and without his coffee. We never saw him again!)