Flush With Coffee

I’m a casino table games dealer. I was dealing four-card poker. The lady on my first seat had a really good hand going for her. When I flipped over the second-to-last card, she took a drink of coffee and then looked down, and when she saw it was the card she needed, she choked herself out of excitement and spit out her coffee… all over the felt table, the cards, the chip rack, and my arm.

Of course, I was not allowed to move because of strict security measures, and there was a game that still needs to be paid out in progress, so I hollered out to my floor manager.

She looked over at me and just kind of glared off into the distance until she realized what had happened and saw me covered in coffee. I had preemptively dealt this lady a straight flush, which apparently excited her. I mean, to be fair, this does pay quite a lot in four-card, especially when you bet the side bets, as well.

I had to stand there literally frozen in place for what felt like thirty minutes as my pit manager and security took the cards to dispose of them properly. They had to take everyone’s chips and issued them redemption slips, as they couldn’t leave the table because they were contaminated.

They had to make sure everything was in the proper order following safety and security protocols. Coffee was all over my arm, and I was just staring off into the distance. The table had to be properly closed and everything had to be properly accounted for before I could leave to go clean up. I had to fill out an incident report to remove liability of assault, as well as track if I did get sick from it.

I still don’t even know if that lady ever got paid for the hand because the hand had not been — nor could have been — completed.

To this day, my friends who still work there still haze me about my “orientation.”