Flush That Idea Down The Toilet

(Our English teacher has nothing planned for the day, so she decides to explain to all us freshmen what we should do during our upcoming lockdown drill.)

Student #1: “Well, that’s all good advice if we’re in the classroom, but what if it’s during a passing period?”

Teacher: “Just duck into the nearest classroom.”

Student #1: “What if we’re in the bathroom?”

Teacher: “Well, get decent first, but be quick. Don’t stop to wash your hands or anything. If you’re really that worried about clean hands, there’s hand sanitizer in every classroom anyway.”

Student #2: “Wouldn’t the intruder hear the toilet flush and head straight for me?”

Teacher: “Don’t stop to flush the toilet.”

Student #3: “But they’re automatic. They flush the second you stand up.”

Teacher: “Okay… On second thought, don’t stand up. Don’t even move. Just… Pull your feet up and pray, I guess.” *muttering* “Why anyone ever thought those new toilets were a good investment is beyond me.”