Florida Man Strikes Again!

My boss has assigned a piece of work to a coworker and me. [Coworker] is lazy and procrastinates to the point where — long story short — I do most of the work myself.

On the day when the work needs to be handed in, I need to leave the office for an emergency. (My kid got sick at school. She’s fine, but I needed to get there.) [Coworker] hands it in and somehow takes most of the credit.

A few days later, my boss calls us both into the office.

Boss: “[Coworker], you claim to have worked on [piece of work], so I wanted to know what this chart means.”

Coworker: “That’s the correlation between [datasets].”

Boss: “You’re just repeating the name of the chart; any idiot can read that. What does it mean?”

Coworker: “It’s the correlation between, uh… the…”

Me: “It’s the correlation between individual store expenditure-slash-profit and length of employment of the employees of each store. It’s saying—”

Boss: “I know what it says, and I know what it means. What it means is that [My Name] did all the work, and [Coworker] took all the credit. [Coworker], you try this s*** again, and you’re through, you get me?”

Coworker: “I… Yes.”

Boss: “You’re from Florida, yes?”

Coworker: *Confused* “Yes?”

Boss: “I thought so. They say growing up in the mountains builds character.”

For those wondering, the highest point in Florida is 345 feet above sea level.