Flights Of Fancy

(This happened when I was about two years old and about to go on a long flight with my mum. It was her first time travelling alone with me and I was at the stage when I often threw tantrums so she was worried.)

Mum: “If you are noisy on the plane, they will ask you to leave.”

Me: “In the air?”

Mum: “Yes.”

(I don’t blame her for saying it because I’m sure every parent says silly/bad things and usually nothing comes of it. But, although I forget the conversation itself, I remember and believe what she told me, probably because my family travels a lot, and I think about it every time we fly. I behave very well on flights. Eventually I decide that the plane must actually land at the nearest airport before the crew orders the passenger to leave so that the passenger doesn’t die. Since I don’t understand the cost and other issues with this, it seems no different from when my teachers send students out of the classroom as soon as they start misbehaving. I never doubt it until I am seven and witness a young child throwing a loud tantrum on a plane.)

Me: “Why don’t they make him leave the plane?”

Mum: “They can’t do that in the middle of a flight!”

Me: “I mean why can’t they land somewhere and leave him there with his parents? That’s how it works, right?”

(Then my mum remembered her desperate attempt to keep me quiet when I was a toddler and she explained everything.)