Flat Out Wrong

I’m weaving through the crowd, trying not to make eye contact with the usual leaflet-pushers, when one guy steps right in my path. He’s holding a laminated sign and a bundle of wobbly home-printed pamphlets. I can’t believe what I’m seeing, an honest-to-god flat earther!

Flat-Earther: “Excuse me! If you have just two minutes to spare, you’d be surprised at how obvious it is that governments and the media have been lying to you.”

Me: “I’m good, thanks!”

Flat-Earther: “You already suspect the earth isn’t round, don’t you?”

Huh? I’m just a normal-looking guy. Why does he think I look like I’d swallow his Neo/Matrix speech? It irks me, so I throw in a comment (stolen from a meme) as I walk away.

Me: “If the Earth were actually flat, cats would have knocked everything off the edge by now.”

Flat-Earther: “Laugh if you must, but that’s what the government wants. Planes just fly in circles to trick us, and—”

Me: “—Mate, Ryanair couldn’t coordinate getting my luggage from London to Corfu, but you think they can coordinate part of an international conspiracy?”

I leave it at that and continue on my way, circling back to reality.