Five McMinutes Later

I take a call on the customer line a minute before we close.

Caller: “Don’t close yet! I’m five minutes away!”

Me: “Ma’am, we close in one minute—”

Caller: “—I know, but I’m driving, and I’ll be there in five minutes, and I know exactly what I need! I can pay by credit card!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, if you can be here in five minutes and you promise to be quick, I can let you come in as I go through the closing procedures.”

Caller: “Thank you! Thank you! I’ll see you in five minutes!”

I close the store and go about the closing routine. I save cashing out the register until the end, but when I get to it, it’s fifteen minutes past closing. I’m not going to wait, so I close out and am walking to the door when I see a woman knocking on the door.

Me: “Ma’am, we’re closed.”

Customer: “You said you’d wait for me!”

Me: “And you said you were five minutes away.”

Customer: “I was! But then I passed by a McDonald’s, and they had drive-thru, and I was hungry, and I figured if you were good to wait five minutes, you could wait a few more.”

Me: “Well, I was not. I hope you enjoyed your burger, and I hope it was worth it.”

I pushed past her and locked the door behind me.