He’ll Take A Tall Truth With A Shot Of Obviousness

(I am in my early 20s. One of my most annoying regulars has been flirting awkwardly for a while, despite my obvious discomfort, and the engagement ring on my finger. I am working alone, and there is a long line behind him, waiting to order.)

Regular: “So, I know you don’t know me that well, but would you like to go out sometime? We can catch a ball game or something.”

Me: “…I’m engaged.”

Regular: “So?”

Me: “I have a fiancé. I’m getting married in three months.”

Regular: “But you’re not married yet! C’mon, it’ll be fun!”

Me: “No.”

Regular: “Come on, one date. You’ll have the rest of your life with him. Enjoy your single life while you can!”

(A burly customer behind the regular speaks up.)

Burly Customer: “Dude, she said no. Now get the f*** out before I throw you out.”

(Embarrassed, the regular leaves.)

Burly Customer: “D*** it, I was hoping he’d try again. I really wanted an excuse to toss him out on his a**. Large latte, please.”