First World Problems

(My family is originally from a third-world country. Our current life isn’t quite luxurious, but we are much better off now than we were before. My uncle has flown over to visit, and is wanting to use our shower.)

Uncle: “Hey [my name], can you bring me a towel? I’m gonna take a shower.”

Me: “Sure thing, uncle.”

(I bring him a bath towel, just as he requested.)

Me: “Here you go.”

Uncle: *unfolds the towel* “Dear lord, just what on Earth is this thing?!”

Me: “It’s the bath towel that you asked me to bring.”

Uncle: “Yeah right it is! This thing is huge! What is this, a blanket?”

Me: “No, that is definitely a bath towel.”

Uncle: “I don’t need a towel this big! Do you have anything smaller?”

Me: “I think we might. How about you come with me so you can pick out the right size?”

(I show him where we keep our towels, and give him free reign over them. After looking around for a bit, he finally picks one out: a small hand towel.)

Uncle: “This was all I needed! What you gave me was incredibly excessive! Just because you’re rich now doesn’t mean you have to buy such nonsense!”

Me: “Okay then. The shampoo and conditioner are over there. And the body-wash is right here.”

(My uncle drops his jaw at the sight of numerous hygiene products in our shower.)

Uncle: “Just plain soap will be fine, thanks.”

(I let my uncle take his shower and leave. After I close the door, I hear him muttering to himself.)

Uncle: “This is absolutely ridiculous! They have to make bathing so complicated in this country!”