First Thing In The Morning Look Like Death Star You Will

(My boyfriend has to get up very early twice a week and sets his cell phone alarms in two minute increments. He has just set his alarm to Yoda’s voice. 5:00 am comes.)

Alarm: “When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good, you will not.” *Yoda laughter*

Boyfriend: *groans*

(We go back to sleep. 2 minutes pass.)

Alarm: “When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good, you will not.” *Yoda laughter*

Me: “Honey, it’s time to get up.”

Boyfriend: “No!”

Alarm: “When nine hundred years—”

Me: *pushing boyfriend out of bed* “Tell Yoda you’re awake already!”