First, Look At The Hot Dog Inside Yourself…

Today at about 6 AM, I wandered into a small convenience store with a gas station that I frequent nearly daily. Despite the hour, the single employee on duty seemed happy and talked with me animatedly while I bought an energy drink and a hot dog. 

After I bought my items, I sat down on the steps outside and opened the food only to find that the hot dog was absolutely petrified. It was a dark reddish brown, had shrunk to about half its size, and was wrinkled like a deflated balloon. It looked as if it had been on the rollers for a day and a half. I quickly went back inside. 

Cashier: “Back so soon [My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah, uh, check out this hot dog.”

The cashier leaned in, and her smile went out like a light. 

Cashier: “What the h*** is that!?”

Me: “Your hot dog.”

Cashier: “Oh… my… God! What brain-damaged, adhesive-sniffing night crew worker took that off the rollers and put it in the case!?”

Me: “Hahahaha, I have no idea.”

Cashier: “No, you don’t understand, we… we pull them off the rollers and put them in the buns and then put the buns in the foil and then put it in the case. Some braincell-less, half-awake disaster didn’t realize this hot dog had turned into a Slim Jim!”

Me: “Can I have a different one?”

Cashier: “F*** yes you can have a different one; are you kidding me!?”

I grabbed another hot dog and went back to the counter, opening it to reveal a perfect hot dog. 

Cashier: “Well, thank f*** for that, I’m going to go find out who did this. It’ll just take a second!”

She moved away into a back room, and when she came back, her face was red, her eyes were watering, and she was no longer wearing her glasses. I couldn’t tell if she was angry or about to cry. 

Me: “Uh…”

The cashier burst out laughing, wiping her eyes with the hand holding her glasses. 

Cashier: “It was ME!”

Me: *Laughing.* “What!?”

Cashier: “It was like the first thing I did when I came in, oh my God, I wasn’t awake yet, there wasn’t any coffee.:

Me: “Welp!”

Cashier: “Oh no, I’m the braincell.”

Me: “That you are.”