First Day Back And Already Pooped

(A customer runs in.)

Customer: *breathlessly* “Where’s your bathroom?”

Me: “Down the hall to the right.”

Customer: *runs off*

(I see him a few minutes later, walking back.)

Customer: “Thanks… Uh, could you tell the person who cleans the bathrooms that I’m sorry?”

Me: *confused* “That you’re sorry?”

Customer: “Yes I tried to hold it in but… I didn’t make it in time.” *leaves*

(I go to the men’s bathroom and take a peek. Feces are everywhere, on the walls, on the floor, on the mirror. It looks like an explosion. I close the door. Sometime later the bathroom cleaner walks in.)

Bathroom Cleaner: “Hey, [My Name]. Good afternoon.”

Me: “Hey. Oh, before you go—”

(Too late, she’s already opened the door to the men’s.)

Bathroom Cleaner: “WHAT THE H*** HAPPENED HERE?”

Me: “Er, well…” *explains*

Bathroom Cleaner: “Geez! I just got back from vacation, to feces on the wall!”