Firing Them Is Firing Themselves

(I am the store manager of a big-box outlet. I’m in my office checking my emails when I suddenly hear the electronics department manager over the public address.)

Electronics Manager: *over the PA* “[New Hire], if you can hear me… YOU’RE FIRED!” *pause* “Please head to the store manager’s office to pick up your termination papers.”

(I am in complete disbelief at what I’ve heard. She is referring to a new hire who has been, simply put, problematic. It’s his first shift back from a three-day suspension, and he’s already on his last chance. However, I wasn’t expecting him to be fired so quickly; I haven’t even prepared his pink slip yet! I’m just as confused as he is when he comes into my office. Since lateness is one of his many issues, I check his punches, and learn that he has in fact clocked in an hour late. Since he is already on his last chance, I explain to him that yes, he is fired, as I quickly prepare his termination slip, hand it to him, and send him on his way. After a quick call to the district office explaining what happened, I call the electronics manager — who isn’t exactly a model employee herself — to my office. She comes in smiling proudly as if she’s just won the Nobel Prize.)

Electronics Manager: “So, how’d you like my creativity?”

Me: *pause* “Actually, I was quite amused by it.”

Electronics Manager: “Really? Why, thank you! Honestly, I impress even myself some—”

Me: “However, not only did you once again go over my head in firing someone from your department, but what you did was essentially yell at him in front of the entire store — unacceptable, and completely unprofessional! Sign your reprimand and go home. We’ll discuss this further tomorrow morning.”

(I hand her a writeup for yelling in front of customers and violating termination protocol. She nonchalantly signs it.)

Electronics Manager: *smirking* “Totally worth it.”

(You should have seen the look on her face when she was forced to explain her actions to the district manager the next day. Needless to say, with literally dozens of complaints from customers AND security footage corroborating what happened, he didn’t buy her excuses, and gave me the green light to fire her for gross misconduct. We haven’t seen her since then.)