Fired Up Response

(I have a coworker who flakes on any but the most trivial projects to such an extreme that half the team has refused to work with him. My manager is out on medical leave. The manager from another team stops by my office.)

Other Team’s Manager: “Do you know if [Coworker] is working today?”

(I know he’s really asking if [Coworker] is in the office. But it’s such a perfect straight line, I can’t resist.)

Me: “I never know if [Coworker] is working any day.”

(It turned out that [Coworker] wasn’t in the office, hadn’t told anyone he’d be out, and the manager was trying to find him because he was about to get fired!)