Financial Crisis Are Beginning To Make Sense

(During a busy Sunday “Car Free Day” celebration in my city, where thousands of people gather and walk in the streets, shopping at market stalls and listening to live music, I see a debit card lying in the middle of the road. I snatch it up and hold it aloft calling out to ask if someone has lost their card, but there is no answer. I’ve recently read what to do when finding a card, so I call the number on the back to let the bank know.)

Bank Employee: “Account number, please.”

Me: “Oh, well, the number on the card is [card number] but I found it on the road at a festival. What should I do?”

Bank Employee: “Did you ask the people around you if it’s theirs?”

Me: “I did, but there are thousands of people here so no one claimed it.”

Bank Employee: “You should take it to the police station, then.”

Me: “What?”

Bank Employee: “Can you take it to a police station, then?”

Me: “This is not a matter for the police. I’m not going to waste my Sunday looking for a police station. Can’t you just cancel it?”

Bank Employee: “Well… I could call the card holder.”

Me: “Sure. I could meet them at the dog food stall near where I found it. It’s really obvious.”

Bank Employee: “Mmm. I can’t give away their information.”

Me: “But… you’re calling them. Just tell them come back and look for the redhead holding a card above her head.”

Bank Employee: “I can’t give up their personal information.”

Me: “Then why did you suggest it?”

Bank Employee: “Can you please just take it to a police station?”

Me: “No. Not only do I not have a car to get to one, this is not something for the police. If I give it to a patrol officer, what are they going to do with it? Look, there’s a bank branch a block away; I’ll put it in their mail slot. Can you please cancel the card?”

Bank Employee: “I should call the police.”

Me: “About what? The card is lost, not stolen. There’s no crime here. Just cancel the card! It’ll be at the [Branch] Monday morning.”

Bank Employee: “Okay. I’ll cancel it and call the client. Will you please drop it off at a police station?”

Me: “It will be at the [Branch]. Thank you for cancelling it.”

Bank Employee: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “Oh. No, thank you.”

(I looked over my shoulder all weekend, expecting to be visited by the police for stealing a debit card.)