Finally Spilled The Truth

Caller: “Hey, that laptop you sold me? The keyboard’s not working.”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. What exactly is wrong?”

Caller: “The bottom row of keys isn’t working. Is it still in warranty?”

Me: “Oh, yes, this machine has a three-year warranty. I’ll need to do some troubleshooting before I can send it off. Have you power-cycled the laptop?”

Caller: “Yes, it still doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay.”

I proceed to talk the caller through the Device Manager, uninstall keyboard device, reboot, etc.

Caller: “Still not working.”

Me: “Yes, it sounds faulty, alright. Do you have an external keyboard you can use in the meantime?”

Caller: “Sure.”

Me: “Alright, I’ll go ahead and schedule the work. The service depot will send you a courier label. Pack it up, or I can do that for you, put the label on, and send it off. It’ll take about a week. I can lend you a laptop while it’s being fixed.”

Caller: “Alright.”

Me: “Now, I have to advise you that if they open it up and find liquid damage, it won’t be a warranty claim and you’ll have to pay them for a new keyboard and labour before they send it back.”

Caller: “Oh, um, well, I can’t spare it just now. I’ll let you know when I have some time.”

Apparently, she’s not been able to spare it for over twelve months.