Finally “Ducking” Isn’t An Autocorrect

I’m a cashier. A woman comes up to my counter.

Customer: *In a quiet voice* “Excuse me. You’ve got some ducks out in the parking lot. Um, they’re mating, and everyone can see it.”

Me: “Ha, well, I guess it’s that time of year or something.”

Customer: *Sternly* “Everyone can see what those ducks are doing! You need to send someone out there right now! My children might see it!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we’re very busy today.” *Points out the line of customers behind her* “We can’t spare anyone to do… that, right now.”

Customer: “Unacceptable! Manager, now!”

I call a manager and she makes her complaint.

Customer: “I am not being unreasonable!”

Manager: “With all due respect, ma’am, you’re the one who wants an employee to go outside and c**kblock a duck so your kids won’t know what banging is.”

Eventually, the manager did send a cart-pusher to make the lady feel better and ruin some duck’s big day.