Finally Closes The Sale

(It is now 15 minutes past closing time. Several staff members have been helping a lady with a complicated question while her young son wanders around and plays with the merchandise.)

Me: “We need to get the store closed and all the lights turned off, so let me get you rung up at this register over here.”

(She wanders over to a display her son is looking at.)

Mother: “You can choose between these two items and I’ll buy it for you.”

Son: “I want this!” *chooses much more expensive item*

Mother: “No, I’m not buying you that. Choose between these two.”

(The argument goes on for a few minutes. Finally:)

Mother: “All right, I’m choosing for you. This one.”

(She brings the item to me, and I ring it up with her other purchases.)

Me: “That’ll be [total].”

(She opens her wallet and slowly starts counting out exact change. I wince internally and say nothing; it’s now 25 minutes past closing. I take her money and hand her a receipt.)

Me: “Thank you so much! I’ll walk you out, since I need to lock the door behind you.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.” *cellphone rings, she answers* “Oh, hi! Yeah, just finishing up.”

(She continues to stand there and talk on her cell, very slowly putting her wallet away and showing no sign of hurrying. Eventually, with me standing there holding the door open, she makes her way to the exit, still talking on the phone. I lock the door behind her and go back into the main room, where my coworkers (who have been wrangling other reluctant-to-leave customers) are standing there looking exhausted.)

Me: “Who’s buying the first round?”