Filling Your Drawers With Guilt

Apparently, I left my office desk drawers unlocked when I was last in the office a few months ago. I find that they have been ransacked and anything of perceived value has been taken.

Luckily, it was mostly company stationery, but I did have some food stuff in there. It’s beyond annoying, and I’m pretty sure I know who it was.

Me: “Oh, no! My drawers!”

Coworker #1: “What happened?”

Me: “Someone has stolen all of my things!”

Coworker #1: “What?! Some people are scum in this office.” *Glares at [Coworker #2]*

Me: *Dramatically* “Oh, no! They’ve taken the food, too.”

Coworker #1: “Don’t worry. We can buy some more.”

Me: *Loudly* “No, I mean it was really out of date. Like months. I had been meaning to throw it out for ages.”

Coworker #1: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah, I hope they didn’t eat it. That stuff can be toxic when it goes off.”

Coworker #1: “Come on. Let’s get some more stationery for you.”

When we returned, [Coworker #2] was nowhere to be seen. Later, he went home feeling sick. The joke’s on him; none of it was out of date. It was just his paranoia and guilt making him sick.

I did make sure to buy more food and offer [Coworker #2] some when he came back in. Surprisingly, he declined.