Fiction Friction

I’m working a booth at Comic Con. One of the items for sale is a diorama of Superman and Lex Luthor. Lex Luthor is wearing a big suit laced with kryptonite to make it a fairer fight.

Customer: “I’m looking at this Superman and Lex Luthor fight scene.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I can answer any questions you have about it.”

Customer: “Is the kryptonite real?”

Me: “Uh… no, sir.”

Customer: “But it’s glowing.”

Me: “It’s clear green plastic with an LED behind it.”

Customer: “So you’re selling a fake.”

Me: “It’s… all fake? I mean, if you think kryptonite not being real means I’m selling fakes, then everything in this convention is a fake.”

Customer: “The label is saying this is a fight involving kryptonite, and it’s just plastic!”

Me: “The label also says it’s a fight involving Superman and Lex Luthor, but I don’t see any invincible aliens and evil billionaires jumping about my booth either.”

Customer: “Whatever… faker.”

He walks away, but inevitably comes back later in the day, as my booth does sell a lot of good stuff, if I do say so myself.

Customer: “What happened to the Superman/Lex Luthor fight scene?”

Me: “I sold it.”

Customer: “Oh…”

Me: “I have a fight here between Captain America and Red Skull if you’re interested, but I have to warn you that the Vibranium isn’t real…”