Feeling Spicy About Dressing

There’s a popular burger chain near my house. They make a salad I like with chicken, guacamole, and bacon. However, I hate the spicy ranch dressing it comes with, so I ask for plain, instead. Seems simple, right?

Ha, no.

I’ve been getting this salad once or twice a month for half a year. I order the same thing every time, and never, not once, have I gotten just plain ranch. Sometimes I get both plain and spicy, sometimes neither. Sometimes I get something completely out of left field, like the day I got raspberry vinaigrette and Parmesan crisps. (How?)

I carry on because the chicken is always delicious. It was annoying at first, but now it’s just funny. It’s become such a running joke in my family that the last time we ordered there, my mom leaned over to peek in my bag and said, “Which one did you get this time?”

It was Caesar.