Fedora Sales Increase After Discovery They Make Old Men Look Like Teenagers

, , , , , | Working | November 16, 2018

(My family has met up for a casual vacation and reunion at a popular tourist beach location. Our first night, a bunch of us go out to eat. The youngest person in the group is in their mid-twenties, and the oldest is in their fifties. We order food at the bar and take it onto the patio to eat, when an employee angrily comes outside.)

Employee: “Get out of here! We told you, you can’t hang out here!”

Cousin #1: “What?”

Employee: “The boss said if I saw you again to call the cops! You’d better be gone by the time they get here!”

Cousin #2: “I think there’s been some mistake.”

(The employee turns and goes back inside. Confused, I head back inside the dining room, and approach the hostess.)

Me: “Excuse me? Is there some problem with eating on the patio? We’d be happy to move.”

Hostess: “Oh, you’re fine. The employee just saw a bunch of teenagers who hang out there, graffiti the tables, and scare away paying customers.”

Me: “Well, he yelled at my family, who are paying customers and not teenagers.”

(The hostess stares at me for a moment. Then she walks over to look out the window to the patio, and rushes back to the kitchen. My family, intimidated, is debating leaving when the employee walks out, following an older woman who identifies herself as the owner.)

Owner: “There seems to have been a terrible mistake. My employee here mistook you for some teenagers—”

(The older members of my family start laughing.)

Employee: *pointing to my uncle* “They have the same hat as you!”

(My uncle sweeps off his fedora, revealing gray hair and a massive bald spot.)

Uncle: “It keeps the sun off!”

(We ended up getting our meals comped, and the employee was forced to apologize. Afterwards, we all had jokes about how well we all aged!)

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