Fear And Polishnoia

| Working | April 26, 2013

(I am working as a security guard at a children’s facility. There is a lady waiting for an appointment in the lobby, but she goes out for a cigarette. While she’s outside, I get a call from the receptionist who is sitting behind an inch of bullet proof glass.)

Receptionist: “Hey, are you going to pick that up?”

Me: “Pick what up?”

Receptionist: “That stuff on the couch!”

(I checked out the couch; there are two bottles of nail polish and some cotton balls.)

Me: “It’s just some nail polish and cotton balls; nothing to worry about.”

Receptionist: “You should pick it up.”

(I grab the items and hold it for the lady who returns not a minute later. The next day I get a call from my manager…)

Manager: “Hey, you need to pay attention and notice dangerous weapons at your site.”

Me: “What weapons would those be?”

Manager: “The nail polish… you didn’t notice it. It is a solvent and it can be thrown into someone’s eyes!”

(Note: this lobby has several chairs, books, magazine racks, a fountain with rocks and glass vials, all not tied down.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but is this a joke?”

Manager: “Not at all. I have to write you up for incompetence.”

Me: *speechless*

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