Fat Chance That’s A Baby

(My boyfriend asked me to marry him while we are on vacation and we decide to wait to tell our family until we were back. This happens while at my parents’ house.)

Me: “So [Boyfriend] asked me to marry him and I said yes!”

(My parents congratulate us.)

Brother: *puts hand on my stomach* “So, am I going to be an uncle now?”

Me: “No, that’s just fat.”

(Yeah, thanks, little brother. Really makes me feel secure with my body!)