When Fast Food Isn’t

(I am in line at a fast food restaurant. At the moment, it is very busy, but there is only one employee available to take orders. The customer in front of me has two very hyper children with her.)

Employee: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Uh, how much is the number one?”

Employee: “The sandwich is [price], or the meal is [higher price].”

Customer: “How much is the number two?”

(This repeats pretty much exactly for most of the menu, despite the prices being clearly written on the menu displayed over the registers.)

Customer: “Okay. Can I get the number three, just the sandwich, and two small number fours?”

Employee: “Will that be all for you today?”

Customer: “Actually, can you replace the number three with a number two? And one of the number fours with a number six? Actually, they can just share my fries; make the numbers four and six just a sandwich, and the number two a large. Oh, and no onions or pickles on the number four.”

Employee: “Okay, will that be all?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Employee: “Okay, that’ll be [total].”

(The woman then proceeds to dump a small pile of coins onto the counter and count out the price in quarters, dimes, and nickels. The line has doubled in length since she started her order. As she does so, another order comes available and the customer goes to grab their bag. Before she can, one of the children tries to grab the bag off the counter.)

Other Customer: “Ma’am, if you can’t control your spawn, maybe you should keep them at home. That’s the third time I’ve seen them try to steal somebody else’s food, and that’s not okay.”

(The woman ignored him, of course. Luckily, her order was to go, and she took her children with her. How the employee didn’t lose his temper, I’ll never know.)