Fast And Furious  

, , , , | Right | December 8, 2019

(I’ve just opened the shop after getting there early to straighten up. I am filling in the morning paperwork at the tills at the back of the shop. A man comes in and ignores my greeting, so I take a sip of the tea I have behind the counter, and as he turns to approach the tills I put it down and say:)

Me: “Everything in the store is three for the price of two today, if you’re interested!”

Customer: “What? I can’t hear you with your mouth behind your coffee like that; why didn’t you put it down first?”

Me: “I’m sorry.” *smiles apologetically* “Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

Customer: “Why are you talking so fast? You need to slow down. Don’t talk so fast.”

Me: *speaking slightly slower* “Sorry, sir. Do you have one of our loyalty cards?”

Customer: “Yes.” *throws the loyalty card across the desk at me*

Me: “Thank you. That will be £14.40. Please put your card in the machine for me.”

Customer: *while typing his PIN in* “Your voice is really grating.” *gets his PIN wrong*

Me: *slowly and as quiet and deeply as I can* “Please try that again, sir.”

Customer: *fails to enter his PIN correctly again while I stay quiet* “That’s two attempts now? I’ve got your little monologue going round in my head; your voice is so grating I can’t concentrate. I’ve got it now.” *enters PIN correctly and gets the “please remove card” message* “You’re not listening to a word I say, are you?”

Me: “I am, sir, yes.” *waits for a good minute while he fails to take his card* “Would you like to remove your card? Thank you. Keep your receipt; there’s a voucher on the bottom for—”

Customer: *cutting across me* “[My Name], you can’t keep up at that speed, you know, you’re going to crash sooner or later.”

Me: *trying to stay cheery and not grating* “Well, I’ve lasted for 28 years at this speed, I think I’ll be okay.” *smiles*

Customer: “It’s not about age. You’ll crash soon.” *stomps off*

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