Fashions Of Dorothy

(A customer walks in, and I start helping her out with styles and sizes. Her mom walks in right behind her while I’m starting a fitting room.)

Me: “So, I’m just going to start you out with these styles first. Let me know how they fit.”

Daughter: “Okay, thanks!”

(While she’s trying her clothes on, I’m folding product and talking to my coworker.)

Mom: “Excuse me, sir!”

Me: “Yes! How’s everything going?”

Mom: “Are you gay?”

Me: *chuckling* “Excuse me?”

Mom: “Are you gay? You’re well groomed, well dressed, and smell good… and, all gay guys look and smell like you. Plus, you know what looks good.”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Mom: “Tell me, how does my daughter look in that outfit? Would you let her be your Hag?”

Daughter: *blood-shot face* “MOM!” *to me* “I’m sorry, sir.”

Mom: “What?! The gays always have beautiful girls surrounding them!”