The Family Versus The Reagan Administration

(My husband and I have four children. They all look very similar, and they all have red hair. Though my husband and I are both gingers, we are about twenty years apart in age. He has two grown daughters with children who also go to school with our children. As a result of scheduling, one of my stepdaughters usually drops off the two school-aged children at school and picks them up. While the teachers have seen me, they have rarely seen my husband, who has a strange work schedule. On this day my stepdaughter has been asked to come inside and wait, as they need to speak to someone about my oldest son. I have never met the new assistant principal, but I know the principal well.)

Principal: “This is a very serious matter and we need to speak with a guardian right away. As you are listed as his aunt, we need to speak to you.”

Step-Daughter: “I’m actually not his—”

Principal: “Your nephew was totally disrespectful of his teacher, and his refusal to complete an assignment comes with a three-day suspension. I must say that I am disappointed in [Son].”

Step-Daughter: *not really buying it* “Okay, first of all, I have no authority to discuss this with you, as I said. I called my stepmother to come in because I’m not handling this.”

Principal: “Listen, we don’t have his grandmother on the contact list, but we have you. We can’t speak to her about it. Call his mother instead.”

Step-Daughter: “I did. If you would just list—”

Principal: “I have half a mind to call his father! This was not only an insult, but he was blatantly disrupting the class.”

(I walk in with my husband in tow. Grandkids and children are seated all over the office looking bored and annoyed. I go in and have a seat.)

Step-Daughter: “Mr. [Principal], this is [My Name], [Son]’s mom.”

Principal: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can only speak to his mother. I cannot speak to his grandmother and grandfather.”

(I am stunned, because I am younger than my husband, and I look it!)

Me: “Um, Mr. [Principal], I am his mother. Now, what exactly did he do?”

Principal: *clears throat* “The students were required to write the presidents that were in office when their parents were born. It was designed to get them interested in government. Your son stubbornly refused to change the president he listed in office for his father. He put Lyndon B. Johnson. He was instructed to change it to Reagan like he had for you.”

Me: *laughs* “He was right. His father was born in 1966. You wrote him up for being right?”

Principal: *turns red* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you are mistaken. That would make his father in his fifties.”

Husband: *raises hand* “That would be me.”

Principal: “I thought he was the grandfather?! Who has kids at that age?”

(He still tried to suspend my son, and the AP kept insisting that we were wrong about the date. The principal set him straight and my son was not punished.)