Family Value Vs. Dollar Value

(My best friend’s father-in-law has passed away. We are at the viewing before the funeral. My best friend’s two-year-old daughter, my goddaughter, can very shy sometimes and has learned I will bribe her with a quarter speak to me.)

Me: “Hey, [Goddaughter]. Can I have a hug?”

Goddaughter: *shakes her head and hides behind her dad*

Me: “If you give me a hug…” *realizing I have no change* “…I’ll give you a dollar!”

Goddaughter: “Okay!” *runs over and hugs me*

(I pull out my wallet and give her my last dollar. At that point, a very attractive woman, who my best friend works with, walks up. She has seen the whole interaction.)

Attractive Woman: *laughing* “I want a dollar.”

Me: “Um, [Goddaughter], can I have my dollar back?”

Goddaughter: “No!” *runs away*

(My best friend starts laughing at my misfortune.)

Me: “Don’t laugh. Your daughter is learning to give affection to men for money.”