Falling Flat On Mother’s Expectations

(My mother is hosting a barbecue for the language class she teaches. I have come back for the weekend, and have to make small talk with the guests.)

Guest: “So, you’re not at university then?”

Me: “No, I work.”

Guest: “Oh, are you the daughter who lives in London?”

Me: “Yup, that’s me.”

Guest: “So … that makes you the nurse?”

Me: “No, that’s my sister over there.”

Guest: “Ah, so you’re the one who lived in the cockroach-infested flat?”

Me: “Exactly! Wait, how do you know that?”

Guest: “Oh, your mum told everyone she taught.”

Me: “…wonderful.”

Guest: “Don’t worry. That’s all I know about you and your sister.”

(I wander over to my sister.)

Me: “Hear that? When mum sums us up, she says she has one daughter who’s a nurse, and her other daughter lives in London in a cockroach-infested flat. I’m sure I’ve done something else with my life!”

Sister: “Nah, nothing she thinks important.”