Fake Money, Fake News, Fake Problems

I’m a manager in a store that sells big appliances. Occasionally, we get customers who want to pay with cash, and sometimes they pay in $100 bills. When we take payments like this, we are supposed to use a counterfeit pen. If the bill is fake, the pen mark will turn a dark color; if the bill is real, it will turn yellowish.

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], you need to get to the checkouts. [Cashier] is having a situation!”

It sounds urgent, so I rush down to see the cashier arguing with some customers.

Me: “What’s happening?”

Cashier: “These customers tried to buy [appliance] using cash, but all their $100 bills are fake! Every single one!”

Customer: “No, they’re not! They’re from the ATM! Your pen is defective!”

Me: “Can I see?”

The cashier hands me the cash, which seems remarkably realistic.

Me: “Pass me the pen. I want to try it myself.”

The cashier passes it to me, and I’m about to mark the bill myself.

Me: “[Cashier], this is a permanent marker. I meant pass me the counterfeit pen.”

Cashier: “But that is the… oh… oh, s***.”

Problem solved. I gave the customers a 10% discount for their troubles.