Failed The Battery Of Tests

(My mom has a tendency to be… um… frugal, and tries to find items on sale whenever possible. I’m looking for batteries for my CD player because I like to listen to music as I’m walking the dog.)

Me: “Mom, did you buy these batteries on sale?”

Mom: “Yes. What about it? They’re Duracells.”

Me: “No, it says ‘Dunicell.’ The on-battery tester isn’t even real. It’s just a sticker.”

Mom: “Just use those batteries. I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

(The batteries died before I even left the house.)