Failed The Pregnancy Test

, , , , | Working | November 1, 2017

(I’m picking up a prescription along with a couple of purchases.)

Cashier: “Here you are, sir. Also, would you be interested in our pregnancy tests?”

Me: “Uh, I’m male, so, no.”

Cashier: “Perhaps for your girlfriend?”

Me: “No?”

Cashier: “Come on, now. A strapping young man like yourself? It’s always good to be safe.”

Me: “I’m really not interested. I doubt a pregnancy test would even be effective with me. A condom sounds more reliable.”

Cashier: “Ah, but they can fail!”

Me: “It’s still a no.”

Cashier: *suddenly furious* “WELL, WHY NOT?”

Me: “Because I think it’s doubtful my boyfriend will come up to me and say he might be pregnant.”

Cashier: *pauses* “Oh, well, you didn’t have to be so rude!”

(After I paid and before the receipt printed, the cashier just walked away. The kicker: I go there every year for gay sexual health checkups. He actually knows my boyfriend and me well, and he has always known that I’m gay.)

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