Failed Him For The Last Time, Part 2

(My boyfriend and I have just eaten a very large meal, and we’re lying on the couch, feeling very stuffed.)

Me: “Go get up and get the remote so we can watch TV and not have to move.”

Boyfriend: “Eh… Why can’t you get it!?”

Me: “You’re allowed to use the force if it works.”

(He stretches out his hand towards the remote. Nothing happens.)

Me: “I don’t think it’s working. I guess you’ll have to do it yourself.”

(He puts his hand around my throat.)

Me: “Are you trying to choke me?”

Boyfriend: “But it didn’t work! You said I had to do it myself!”

Me: “Were you trying to force-choke me?! I thought you were getting the remote!”

Boyfriend: “I thought that if I choked you, you’d get all happy and start bouncing around the room and get the remote.”

Me: “I don’t get excited from being choked!”

Boyfriend: “Actually, you do.”

Me: “…”

Boyfriend: “You didn’t think this through, did you?”

Me: *sigh* “You win. I’ll get the remote.”