Faceless Enemy, Faceless Victim

(I am working the register in the garden center when a man with no arms comes through with an item held under his chin. He leans over, drops it on my counter and says that he’ll be right back. He comes back with several more items under his chin, and states that he is ready to check out.)

Me: “So, how is your day going?”

Customer: “It’s going fine, thanks!”

(The transaction goes smoothly until it’s time for him to pay.)

Customer: “I have no arms, so you’ll have to get the money out of my pocket.”

(I blink, but it sounds reasonable, so I walk around the counter to get the money. As I reach into his front pocket, he notices something.)

Customer: “Oops, my fly is open. But, don’t worry. Nothing will jump out at you!”