Eye Can’t Believe It

Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant’s name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’ll have—”

(The customer finally makes eye contact and then stares at me for a couple of seconds.)

Me: “Ma’am? Is everything all right?”

Customer: “Your eyes…”

(I typically get compliments on my blue eyes, so I just smile.)

Me: “Thank you. What can I get for you?”

(The customer is still transfixed on my eyes.)

Customer: *slowly* “Are… they real?”

Me: “Um, yes.”

Customer: “Are they yours?”

Me: *laughing* “No, I stole them from a corpse.”

(I realize that she thinks I’m serious.)

Me: “They’re my real eyes! I was born with them.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Positive.”

Customer: *orders and quickly leaves, staring cautiously at my eyes the whole time*