Eye Can’t Believe It
Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant’s name]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I’ll have—”
(The customer finally makes eye contact and then stares at me for a couple of seconds.)
Me: “Ma’am? Is everything all right?”
Customer: “Your eyes…”
(I typically get compliments on my blue eyes, so I just smile.)
Me: “Thank you. What can I get for you?”
(The customer is still transfixed on my eyes.)
Customer: *slowly* “Are… they real?”
Me: “Um, yes.”
Customer: “Are they yours?”
Me: *laughing* “No, I stole them from a corpse.”
(I realize that she thinks I’m serious.)
Me: “They’re my real eyes! I was born with them.”
Customer: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Positive.”
Customer: *orders and quickly leaves, staring cautiously at my eyes the whole time*
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