Extreme Makeover: Criminal Edition
(I work in a check-out lane at a grocery store. A boy who looks about 16 walks up to the check-out and puts a twelve-pack of beer on the lane.)
Me: “May I see your ID?”
Customer: “Who do you think you are, a cop? No!”
Me: “If you want to purchase these, I need to see your ID. You don’t exactly look over 21.”
Customer: “Fine, b****!”
(He then hands me his ID, which has a picture of an elderly man on it.)
Me: “Sorry, you can’t buy these.”
Customer: “What the h***! I just gave you my ID!”
Me: “This ID belongs to an elderly man who has a gray mustache and beard.”
Customer: “It’s called Botox and shaving.”
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