Extra-Large Insults

, , , , , | Right | December 31, 2019

(I work in a clothing store that mostly sells industrial workwear and business casual clothing, but we have a small and very limited section of athletic clothing. A fifty-year-old male approaches me looking for workout clothing.)

Customer: “I need something to work out in. I want to lose weight. I’m heavyset like you; I want to start running and get back into shape. I used to run half-marathons. Can you believe that?” 

Me: *offended he made a jab at my weight* “Yeah, sure, I can. Let me show you what we have for running.”

Customer: “I want to stay warm. It’s getting cold. I need a one-piece running suit with a zipper.” 

Me: “We don’t sell anything like that. You’ll have to buy a shirt and pants.” 

Customer: “What about that?” *points at long johns that have buttons*

Me: “That would work to keep you warm, but you should still put clothing over it.” 

(He keeps insisting I have one in the back. I go “check.”)

Me: “Sorry. We don’t have what you’re looking for. Have you tried [Specialty Running Store]?”

Customer: “They won’t have it.” *starts telling me about his life, realizing I am trying to leave as I can’t help him* “I used to work in a factory before. I went to college. Now I’m retired. When did you graduate high school?”

(Note, I’m 24.)

Me: “Actually, I got my bachelor’s degree.”

Customer: “Well, that’s surprising. Why are you working here?”

Me: “I need the money.”

Customer: “You should get a real job. I need to work out. Find me that running suit. I don’t want health issues. My ex-wife had health issues. We didn’t have kids because of it. Now I feel empty inside. Do you have a partner? You should have kids so you don’t feel empty like me.” 

Me: “Yes, I have a partner but we’ve both agreed to not have kids.”

Customer: “He will leave you if you don’t have kids with him.” 

Me: “If he does, that’s his problem.”

Customer: “How are women so strong? I still love my high school crush. So, where’s this suit? I need it in an XL.”

(I am tired of listening to him, so I call another of our stores in a different city and get them to hold the long johns for him since that store has them in his size. He seems happy and leaves. The next day, he comes back and asks for the exact same product he originally came in for, which we don’t carry. I tell him it doesn’t exist and I’m not calling other businesses to see what they have. He keeps asking about everything in the store. Soon, he asks about shoes. Since I work in clothing, I get my coworker that works in the footwear department.)

Me: *to my coworker, who’s a male and a foot taller* “This is the guy that insulted me yesterday. He doesn’t believe me that we don’t have what he’s looking for. Get him out of our store.”

(I left. I don’t know what my coworker said to him, but I haven’t seen him since.)

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