Explaining It In Black And White

Customer: “I want a coffee!”

Me: “Sure. Want some milk with that?”

Customer: “No! Coffee is like people; you shouldn’t mix black and white together.”

I’m not sure if he was just trolling me for a reaction or if he genuinely thought it was acceptable to blurt that out to a stranger out of nowhere, but he gave no indication of either.

I don’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction, and I end up bringing him a cup of milk and only milk.

Customer: “Where the f*** is my coffee?!”

Me: “You said you don’t want to mix with black, so…” *Gestures to the milk.*

Customer: “Jesus, lady, I was only joking! I just want a black coffee.”

Me: “I was only joking too. I have no intention of giving you just a cup of milk.”

Customer: *Smiles and relaxes.* “Good.”

Me: “I actually have no intention of giving you anything. You can get up and leave now.”

Customer: “I said I was only joking! You need to chill out!”

Me: *Gulps down all the milk in the cup.* “There, chilled out. You’re still leaving now, though.”

The customer threw all the menus on the floor (oh no how will I ever rebuild) and stormed out.