Expects You To Buy That Story

(I’ve been scouring a very large craft store searching for a certain kind of glass jar, but I can’t find it anywhere. I approach a very bored-looking employee.)

Me: “Excuse me; do you have a moment? I’m having trouble finding mason jars. Could you point me in the right direction?”

(The employee heaves a sigh and rolls her eyes.)

Employee: “Mason jars? Where do you think we are? This isn’t a… a…”

(The employee trails off, searching for the right word.)

Employee: “…this isn’t a ‘buying things’ store!”

Me: “…a what?”

Employee: “You heard me!”

Me: “…but [Competitor] carries all kinds of mason jars. Are you sure you don’t have them at all?”

Employee: “WE’RE. NOT. A. BUYING. THINGS. STORE. Go to Walmart!”