Expecting Assault But Just Getting Battery

I work at an art and craft store. We basically sell a mish-mash of everything. Outside, we have rows of baskets that line the windows with kid’s toys and “till tempters.” We have so many of these large baskets — think three feet by three feet — that when we bring them in, they block the walkway on both sides of the store. This means that bringing in the baskets is the last possible thing we do before locking the doors.

We’ve brought in the baskets and I am mopping the store at the back when I hear a crash through the dark store. When I walk to the front, I see a man has managed to smash one of the doors open. He has then tripped over several of the baskets.

I come over, mop in hand — also as a potential weapon.

Me: “Sir, we’re closed. What do you think you’re doing?!”

Customer: “Have you got any D-batteries in stock?”