Where There’s Smoke, There’s Getting Fired, Part 2

(This happened a few years ago. My aunt’s house caught fire, and she lost literally everything. The shell of the house mostly survived but everything inside the house was destroyed. Among her difficult tasks, she called the cable company to cancel her account.)

Aunt: “My home burned down and I’m going to be moving away. I need to terminate my cable account.”

Representative: “You’ll need to return the cable box in order to close your account.”

Aunt: “The box was destroyed in the fire, just like everything else in the house.”

Representative: “We can’t terminate your account unless you return the box.”

Aunt: “I’m not sure what part of ‘my house burned down’ you’re not understanding. The box is gone. The fire originated in the part of the living room where the television was, so it was all destroyed.”

Representative: “It makes no difference. Unless you give us back the cable box, your account will remain open and you will continue to be charged for services.”

Aunt: “Well, if you can find it, you can have it!”