Exchanging Christmas Stories

(My stepfather’s family gets together for an early Christmas party. After lunch, there’s a gift exchange in which people choose a gift from under the tree at random, and then can trade or steal gifts. These are just a few of the items people unwrapped, with their reactions:)

Older Woman: “Okay, I got… Old Spice.”

Man Next To Her: “Ooh, it says ‘Swagger!’”

My Brother: “Looks like… a four-person tent!”

Me: “Awesome, but maybe you can get someone who’s not deathly allergic to bees to steal it?”

Mom: *to young man* “Hey, steal that Old Spice!”

Man: “Nah, I’ll unwrap this one… It’s a foot bath.” *he isn’t impressed*

Mom: “I told you to steal the Old Spice.”

Young Woman: “Okay, I got… ammo.”

(Most people at the table “ooh” and “ahh.”)

Young Woman: “Wait, I can’t take this home! [Husband] is on probation! Hey, [Next Person], can you steal this?”

Next Person: “Sorry, my husband’s not allowed to own a gun, either.”

(As my mom said, a gift exchange isn’t about getting something you want; you just show up for the funny stories.)