Even This Conversation Is Out Of Tune

Customer: “I would like to order a pack of Martin Strings in the gauge of 9-46.”

Me: “Great, do you have an item number or SKU number for those strings?”

Customer: “No, I don’t, I just thought you would have that already.”

Me: “Well, sir, we sell thousands of different musical items every single day and it’s hard to keep record of everything. I would be happy to look that up for you, though.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks!”

As I’m pulling up the item on our website, the customer is mumbling something under his breath.

Me: “Okay, sir, I believe I found the set you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Now make sure it comes in the right tuning of EBGDAE, okay?”

Me: “Well, sir, the strings come how they come and it is up to you to tune them correctly.”

Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that they don’t come tuned?”

Me: “Sir, you have to put the strings on the guitar before you can tune them.”

Customer: “Well, I believe that is bad customer service. If you expect me to order, then you must make sure they are in the correct tuning.”

Me: “Sir, the strings don’t come in a tuning; the term ‘tuning’ refers to the tension you set the string on the guitar that creates a certain pitch. There is no such thing as strings that come in a standard tuning.”

Customer: “Fine. Then I will order from a different company that will tune them for me, so I can play my guitar without sounding like a [disabled slur].”

Me: “Okay, sir, make sure the next company you order from gets the standard tuning for you on the strings!”