Even Small Towns Are Too Big For Small-Minded People

The owner also serves as a waiter in the little diner I work at. We’re a small town where almost everyone knows everyone.

A guy moved here a few months ago and already has a terrible reputation for being a sexist pig who has grabby hands. He has been banned from our one pizza place and one Chinese restaurant already. He comes into our diner today. He doesn’t know the owner.

Customer: “No, I won’t be served by a man; that’s a woman’s job!”

Owner: “That isn’t happening.”

Customer: “You get me a pretty girl out here right now!”

Owner: “No. Either I’m your waiter or you don’t eat.”

Customer: “You!” *Snaps his fingers at me* “You will—”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You little b****! I am a man; you will do as I tell you!”

Me: “I will do no such thing.”

He grabs my arm and jerks me towards him, causing several other customers to yell out and two to pull out their phones. The owner yanks him off and begins to drag him towards the door while the customer tantrums.

Owner: “Congrats, you’re banned.”

Customer: “YOU CAN’T KICK ME OUT! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!”

Owner: “I sure do, you’re [Customer], a sexist a**hole who has now been banned from three of the four restaurants in town because he’s a dumba** and can’t keep his hands to himself. Do you know who I am?”

Customer: “No, who the h*** cares?”

Owner: “You will. I’m [Owner], I own this place, but more importantly—” *points to me* “—she’s my wife’s goddaughter, and that—” *points to camera* “—is a video camera.”

Customer: “Um, I didn’t—”

Owner: “Oh, yes, you did. [My Name], you want to press charges, darling?”

Me: “Yes.”

The customer tried to book it, but the police eventually got him.

The owner’s wife, my godmother, is the owner of the law firm he was trying to get a job at. He never knew that because she never wanted an interview with him, and he didn’t realize she was a woman due to her gender-neutral name.

He ended up moving out of town less than six months later.