Equal Opportunity Innuender

(I’m a 16-year-old male waiting for my order. Several employees–all of them guys, except for a single female, are working on it.)

Female Employee: *to male coworkers* “Chop, chop! Let’s get it moving back there!”

Male Coworkers: *rolling their eyes*

Female Employee: “Hurry it up with that salami!”

(After some time, the new salami is cut and the female employee begins wrapping my sandwich.)

Female Employee: “God, that took forever! It felt so good to finally shove some meat in there!”

(There’s a brief, awkward pause while I stand there silently. Finally, the female employee speaks up.)

Female Employee: “That’s what SHE said.”

Me: “Wait… but you’re a girl!”

Female Employee: “Does it really matter, hon?” *leans over the counter at me and licks her lips*

Me: *shocked silence*