Entertainment Really Improves A Meal

, , , , , , | Working | January 6, 2021

One of my best and dearest friends and his wife come to visit me in Nottingham and we all decide that, for a lovely change, we’ll go out to dinner.

For many years, there was a small, family-run Italian restaurant in the center of the city that I loved that had amazing food at a very reasonable price, and I am excited to take my friends there. Sadly, in the year since I last visited, the family has sold the place and the new folk believe much more strongly in packets and bottles than they do in proper cooking.

So there I am, staring at my steak that’s smothered in grade-Z packet sauce, opposite my friend — a multi-rosette chef — and his wife, and I just want to sink under the table and die.

Everything is super awkward until, with no warning, the wife’s face starts to contort like she’s got a bee trapped in her mouth. At first, she contains it, but finally, she can’t anymore and she starts howling with laughter! She manages to get herself together long enough to gasp out a few words to her husband; he stares, looks around, and then suddenly, HE starts laughing, as well.

Now I’m not just embarrassed, but I’m also totally confused until my friend gets his s*** together long enough to get me to look over at one of the waiters. He’s a middle-aged dude with a bit of a paunch. I vaguely remember him from previous trips as the only remaining member of staff.

Friend: “Wait for it… wait for it…”

And suddenly, the waiter pounced!

He’d just farewelled a table of four after taking their payment, and the SECOND they were down the stairs he shot over to the table to clear it and, as he loaded his tray with empty plates, he made D***ED sure that all of the wine glasses (and the bottles) were completely empty.

In the time we were there, he went from friendly and efficient to VERY friendly, if kind of wobbly.

We felt bad for the guy that this was the only way he could get through a shift, but his antics fully saved the evening.

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